


Geoff's Least Favourite World

by UNICORNZWAG



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Alternate Universe - Spooky Scary, Cannon-Typical Language, Demon!Griffon, F/M, Fairy!Mica, Familiar!Matt, Immortal!Michael, M/M, MadScientist!Ryan, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, Multi, Siren!Trevor, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Sorcerer!Jeremy, SwampMonster!Jack, Witch!Lindsay, demon!Geoff, phoenix!gavin, werewolf!Ray
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-09-27 13:47:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10023515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UNICORNZWAG/pseuds/UNICORNZWAG
Summary: Geoff is the laziest demon around. He never thought he'd get dragged into some crazy people's lives in the realm of, get this, Earth!





	1. Why did it have to be Earth?!

**Author's Note:**

> Cheesy summary is cheesy. Not sure how often this'll update, but hope you enjoy.

Geoff was utterly content. After a long few days of dealing with the bureaucratic, annoying work side of things, he was finally in bed. He had a bottle of scotch in hand and was relaxing with some nice music. It’s not like he needed sleep, but it was nice to relax and shut his mind down for a while.

 

He was a demon of one of the seven deadly sins, so he had to sit counsel sometimes and deal with lesser demons. He got off a little more easily than others because of what he represented. His sin was sloth, laziness. It was understood in the hell he lived in, that any task assigned to him would be carried out without much vigour or timeliness, and would often be done incorrectly or not at all.

 

Goddamn, he hated meetings though. As long as he was in the realm, he had to meet with others and deal with problems (though most assigned to him were never solved well). Anyway, he was just glad to have some relaxing time to himself.

 

He started to get an odd feeling in his stomach, one that he hadn’t experienced for centuries. Someone had said his true name in one of the overworlds. This couldn’t be good for him when he just wanted to relax and have a nice time alone. The feeling got stronger and he felt his flame burn brighter, someone wasn’t just mentioning him, they were trying to summon him.

 

He really hoped that they fucked it up before they finished, but unfortunately for him, the final words were uttered and he felt himself warping through a hell portal into his least favourite world, Earth.

 

It was his least favourite world because of just how everyone was treated. In hell and some other worlds that he had visited, people had different standing and responsibilities, of course, but things were based on power and merit. If someone was able to do a job more easily because of what they were or their experience, then they did the job, but nobody was looked down upon because of species, race, sexuality, wealth status, anything.

 

Of course people still fought and had problems with each other, but they were able to respect each other on a basic level.

 

On Earth, there was underlying hate based on differences. Anyone different in any way was lesser. Even though many fought for rights, and fought for equality, there were underlying prejudices toward those who showed characteristics that were different.

 

Geoff hated Earth.

 

* * *

  


Ryan looked skeptically at Jeremy and his familiar, Matt, “There’s no way this is going to work. Have you ever summoned a demon before?”

 

“Not one of this calibre,” Jeremy replied, “but we have no choice at this point.”

 

Jeremy began a chant in a dead language, whilst Matt worked to share his power and give more focus to the incantation.

 

There was loud banging on the door, the guards trying to bust inside the room. Michael pressed his back against it, trying to keep their enemies out.

 

“Ryan come help me, goddammit!”

 

Ryan ran to Michael to brace the door to give Matt and Jeremy time to finish.

 

Finally, after only a few seconds that felt like an eternity, time seemed to stop. The room grew cold and the sun no longer shone through the window.

 

A demon, around seven feet tall appeared in the hastily carved pentagram on the cracked floor of the desolate, concrete cell.

 

The horns of a Ram curled out of his skull and dark wrinkled wings stretched as far as they were able without going out of the confines of the circle. The eyes of the beast were a lazy blue that seemed flicker like a flame made of soft blue water. His arms were lined with ancient script and imagery of all kinds of horrors, none of which any of those in the room wanted to imagine.

 

Jeremy felt weak, weaker than he had ever felt in the aftermath of a summoning before. He collapsed to the ground, almost in a state of unconsciousness. Matt changed to his favourite form, that of a cat and curled up beside his sorcerer to try and preserve the magic in the room.

 

The banging on the door had stopped, but there was still weight against it. Michael and Ryan felt the exhaustion that had pulled Jeremy into the darkness and slid down their side of the door, entangled in each other.   


 

* * *

 

 

Geoff looked up and cursed. Yep definitely Earth.

 

Why did it have to be Earth?!

 

Everyone within a ten foot radius of him felt his power and was on the ground. Geoff sighed, this always happened.  Mortal bodies reacted automatically to the sin that a greater demon held within them. The magical aura of sloth was cast about the area, causing the mortal muscles to stop working, elongate and relax.

 

Geoff snapped and the summoner, though no one else, was free from his spell. The boy, and he was just a boy of perhaps twenty, stood slowly.

 

Hair that morphed colour by the second, of short stature, wide shoulders, and vibrant eyes are what immediately stood out to Geoff upon first glance.

 

His voice cracked slightly when he tried to talk, but strengthened as he continued on, “Y-you can’t have them under a curse when you’re under my command,” he addressed Geoff.

 

Geoff laughed with a bored look on his face, “They aren’t cursed, kid, my aura’s just a little strong on this world and I have no desire to rain it in right now.”

 

Jeremy looked slightly shocked, but controlled it quickly. “Well, I need you to do something.”

 

Geoff sighed, “Whatever it is, can we get it over with? I hate Earth.”

 

Jeremy nodded, “Can you get all of my friends back to our safe-house?”

 

“I can pretty much do whatever the fuck I want,” Geoff responded, “but why would I want to?” he said as he reclined onto the ground.

 

“Because I summoned you and you’re bound to my will,” Jeremy said with more confidence.

  
“Technicality,” Geoff said, “I only have to listen to you while I’m in the summoning circle… and this one looks pretty, damn breakable anyways. I might as well just go home and leave you to your own devices.”

 

“Please,” Jeremy implored, “my friends and I are scheduled for execution in an hour, and since all of the guards know we’re trying to escape, that time-table has just gotten much smaller.”

 

Geoff scoffed, “You want me to help criminals? What did you do that makes you think I should assist you and not just let your lawmakers end you?”

 

Jeremy looked down, “We didn’t do anything. We’re just _creatures_ ,” he said quietly, as if he was ashamed.

 

“Nothin’ wrong with that,” slurred a nearly unconscious blonde guy, who Geoff had barely noticed, from the floor.

 

Geoff glanced at him before returning his gaze to Jeremy. He wasn’t too up to date on Earth slang, but the way in which Jeremy said the word “creature” caused him to feel that it was extremely derogatory.

 

He ventured to ask, “What’s the issue with that?”

 

Jeremy’s eyes lit up a little bit with anger and his hair darkened to red, “I don’t fucking know! It’s not like any of us could control how we were born or control who made us the way we are. Humans are a majority of the population so they make the rules. In this state, creatures are hunted viciously. We aren’t safe until we’re back at base.” He rambled a little bit, fidgeting with a ring on his right hand.

 

Geoff was appalled. This is what he hated about Earth. None of these people had done anything wrong yet they were going to be executed. Humans were awful with their vendettas and prejudices.

 

“Is it just the people in this room that need to get out of here?”

 

“Yes,” Jeremy replied, “the others haven’t been captured.”

 

“Do you know where your base is in relation to this building?”

 

“Ryan does… but he’s still out of it.”

 

Geoff looked at the others still on the ground. “Right, I forgot.” He pulled his power back so that it was contained within the circle. It wasn’t hard, he just had to think about it.

 

The man stood up and faced the demon. “Headquarters is south of here,” he said, “I don’t know exactly how far, but it has magical cloaking so that nobody can find us there.”

 

“I can work with that,” Geoff said, looking to Jeremy, “You have to release me so that I can help you.”

 

Jeremy asked one question before uttering the spell to free Geoff, “Will you really help us?”

 

Geoff couldn’t lie to his summoner when he was confined within the circle. It was one of the few constraints of any demon, even one with as much power as Geoff had.

 

“Yes.”

 

The spell was spoken as the banging restarted on the door. The circle on the floor fragmented with a pop of smoke.

 

Geoff glowed with more power after being released. He closed his eyes and felt for the large source of magic to the south.

 

Side note: Another reason Geoff hated Earth - there was so little magic. Only about fifteen percent of the population of the planet were magical beings of some capacity, and as such, nearly all of the magic in nature had been removed by human activists and those looking to hunt and exterminate “creatures.”

 

The lack of magic anywhere else apart from this room shone a beacon on the compound in Geoff’s mind. He opened a portal in the wall, one that he was _pretty sure_ connected to that source of magic.

 

The auburn haired boy gave a shout as the door began to splinter, “Hurry the fuck up, we’ve got company!”

 

Geoff beckoned them all to the portal, “Jump!” He ordered as the old wooden door busted inward off of its hinges.

 

 

* * *

 

  


Jeremy was astounded with the speed at which the demon had located his home and opened a portal. He pulled Michael out of the way as the door collapsed, propelling him into the swirling dark mass on the wall.

 

Jeremy was terrified, but he’d faced worse than this before. He had no time. He took a deep breath.

 

Jeremy closed his eyes and leapt into the abyss.


	2. Fairy Tale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geoff is stunned. Michael is smug. Lindsay is your new best friend.

Geoff sealed the portal after the rainbow haired boy tumbled out. 

 

As he took in his surroundings, Geoff was astonished. He was at the door of a quaint cottage, made of smooth, grey stone with cherry blossom vines growing up one side of the house and a puff of smoke from the chimney. 

 

It was like he was in a storybook-esque, perfect world.

 

Yet, he couldn’t imagine how these four, let alone any of their friends, fit into the tiny home. 

 

* * *

 

Michael was so fucking glad to be home. He wasn’t sure how those stupid guards had planned to kill him, but he was definitely not inclined to watch some of his closest friends (maybe something more) be murdered in cold blood. 

 

He led everyone inside, pushing open the door and going to the back of the house. This was his favourite part when showing new people around so he kept his eyes on the demon’s face.

 

The room was tiny, a one room cottage with a fireplace, mattress, washing bucket, and small cupboard. 

 

The demon had a confused look on his face, eyes scrunching up together as eyebrows shot up into his hairline. 

 

Michael smirked as he opened the trapdoor and let everyone downstairs to his real home. 

 

* * *

 

Geoff couldn’t believe his eyes. It was like he was outside again. If he had thought the cottage itself looked like it was out of a story book, he was living in the fairy tale now. 

 

The floor of what should be a dank, dim basement, was instead blanketed in soft grass with a quaint, packed path winding through it. 

 

There were a plethora of houses spotted along the path. Some adorable stone like the cover house above and some light birch wood with a sandstone base. 

 

Flowers and bushes lined the path through the little village. Magic was tangible in the air. 

 

Geoff had never felt more at home. Not even in the underworld where he was born and grew or any of the worlds he had visited before. 

 

Geoff’s fire burned brighter between his horns.

 

This was much less like the Earth Geoff knew, and that was fantastic. 

 

* * *

 

Michael looked at the demon Jeremy and Matt had summoned. He had never seen a demon before. He’d been alive for… longer than he’d like to admit, but this was something new. 

 

This was exciting.

 

The demon looked around, seemingly in awe of their little town. 

 

Michael was proud to put that look on the powerful demon’s face. He had worked so hard to help in the building of this town. 

 

He was fiercely protective of his friends. He could fit in pretty well anywhere in the world, but their little bubble of magic, of safety, kept his friends alive and well. 

 

That was something on which he could count. Here, his friends were safe. 

 

Michael  _ had _ to be worried about his friends. Some of them would live hundreds of years or could prolong their lives. Some of them would live forever, like him. Some… some were completely mortal and Michael knew that he shouldn’t have ever gotten so close to them because he would lose them, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. 

 

He loved his friends more than anything and cherished the time he had with them, no matter what that time would end up being. 

 

Speaking of people he loved, “Hey assholes, I can’t believe you got caught again,” Lindsay smiled as she exited her hut. 

 

Michael grinned and embraced her, “Well you know us, can’t take care of ourselves.”

 

* * *

 

As Geoff was taking everything in, the door to what was probably the smallest house opened. It was a little tiny stone building with white quartz lining around the windows. Some of the stones were crumbling in the walls, but were held together with a gooey, shining, gold substance. 

 

The garden was the real star of the show, though. It surrounded both sides of the thin path up to the door and stretched back around behind the house. Like a tiny, rainbow sea, flowers of every colour bloomed. Most were waist height or even taller than that. 

 

Geoff was pulled out of his observation as the woman who had exited the house reached them. She greeted his companions and hugged the auburn haired boy. 

 

Her hair was white blonde, reaching her shoulder blades, and her eyes shimmered green with the magic that he could sense in her veins. 

 

She locked eyes with him and smiled, “Hi, friend, I’m Lindsay! Glad to have you in our valley.”

 

Geoff replied, “Glad to be here, I guess, I’m Geoff.”

 

“Everyone’s gonna be so glad you all are back, and they’re probably going to want to meet Geoff too. We should call a meeting,” Lindsay said, looking to the tall blonde haired man who Geoff may or may not have forgotten was standing behind him. 

 

“On it,” the man said, heading to, Geoff assumed, round up everyone else who lived here. 

 

“Let’s head to the pavilion,” Jeremy said, “This way.” He gestured for Geoff to follow as the others led the way. “We should probably talk when everyone’s together.”

 

Geoff sighed. 

 

“It sounds a lot like a meeting.” 

 

“I hate meetings,” he grumbled. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions for future chapters would be great if you have them. I don't have too much written into the future. Comments welcomed, criticism appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> Criticism or comments of any kind are appreciated! Let me know if there are any tags I should add or of any requests for upcoming chapters. I'm not writing too far in advance so I can pretty much work anything in. <3


End file.
